How to Control Anger & Frustration When Dealing With Children

by Melissa Willets, Demand Media Google
    Model good anger management for your kids.

    Model good anger management for your kids.

    There's no doubt that dealing with your kiddo can get frustrating. You might find yourself wondering how someone so small can get under your skin so quickly! However, controlling your anger and frustration is key to resolving problems that arise -- and keeping your little one calm and happy as well.

    Step 1

    Take a deep breath. If your kiddo is having a bad day -- which in turn is making you feel like you want to go into a corner and cry just like your cutie, remember to keep your cool. Even if your little one is in the midst of category 4 temper tantrum, try to maintain your composure. According to the KidsHealth website, kids can sense when their parents are becoming frazzled -- and this can just accelerate their frustration, which will only frazzle you more. As difficult as it might be, try to determine why your little one's temper is flaring. If she's tired, hungry or not feeling well, try to make things right. If she's just plain irritable, try to ignore the situation by continuing your activities while keeping an eye on your child.

    Step 2

    Take a break. There's nothing wrong with walking away from a temper tantrum for a few moments. As long as your kiddo is safe, you're allowed to step away from the situation for a bit. Grab a cup of coffee, sit on the stairs and give yourself a neck massage -- or do whatever you have to do to decompress for a minute. Then return to your little one with renewed energy.

    Step 3

    Stay consistent when disciplining your child. Your child is more likely to respond to discipline when you have a consistent approach to handling bad behavior, according to the KidsHealth website. When your little one doesn't know what to expect from you, he's more likely to act out and react poorly to consequences -- which in turn can upset and frustrate you. For example, if your child gives you a hard time about getting into his car seat, explain to him that if he doesn't get into the seat as you request, his teddy bear will have to ride with you in the front. Then the next time he refuses to get into the car seat, simply place his teddy next to you in the front seat. Don't yell or force him into the seat. Calmly tell him that the sooner he gets into the car seat, the sooner he can have his teddy bear back. But keep the teddy in the front seat until you reach your destination. This way, you're teaching him the behavior you expect. You're also not screaming threats or getting yourself worked up over the situation.

    Step 4

    Take time for yourself. According to the AskDrSears website, mommy burnout is a common phenomenon. It occurs when a parent doesn't properly balance motherhood and personal time. Make an effort to plan time away from your demanding darling. Schedule a mommy night out with friends, go get a pedicure on the weekends, get out for a run when your partner gets home. When you have time for yourself, you're less likely to feel anger and frustration when dealing with your child.

    Step 5

    Don't go at it alone. Whether it's a babysitter, your husband or grandparents, allow others to help you in managing your house and your little one. Don't try to do all things yourself even if you secretly believe that you're a superwoman! If someone offers a hand, take it. You can handle anger and frustration better when you're well rested instead of overworked.

    Step 6

    Realize that frustration is part of the job -- and don't expect perfection. Learn to laugh at things -- like the barrage of questions your little one asks everyday -- instead of letting them push you to the brink. Find a friend who will lend an ear and share your most frustrating moments. When you feel your frustration level rising, try to remember all the happy moments and treasured memories.

    About the Author

    Melissa Willets has been writing about parenting, pregnancy and "all things mom" since 2009. She has contributed to many websites, including and

    Photo Credits

    • George Doyle/Stockbyte/Getty Images